ahmed
02-28-2010, 08:38 AM
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) dealt justly with his wives, loved them, fondled them, and was patient and loyal with them. His actions sprang from a feeling of responsibility and because Allah the Almighty has created him righteous and equitable by nature.
Lady A’isha said that the Prophet of Allah (PBUH) never preferred one wife more than the others and used to see them all in their homes everyday although he used to spend the night with one only.
Treating his wives with equity never changed according to the change in his conditions. Whether he was traveling or present he was equitable. When he wanted to travel he used to pick without personal preference (through some way like drawing straws) which wife to accompany him.
He used to spend one day and one night with each wife except when Lady Sauda Bint Zam’a reached old age and no longer had sexual desires she dedicated her day and night to Lady A’isha may Allah be pleased with them. By doing so, Lady Sauda was also seeking to please the Prophet (PBUH).
Another form of dealing justly was when the Prophet married a virgin he would stay with her for three nights not to let her feel lonely and then he would spend with her the same as his other wives. When he (PBUH) married Umm Salama he said to her: “There is no lack of estimation for you on the part of your husband. So if you desire I can spend a week with you, and if you like I may spend three (nights) and then I will visit you in turn.” She said: “Spend three (nights).” Narrated by Muslim.
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) treated his wife equally even in his last days when he was very sick. He used to go to each of his wives in her turn. Lady A’isha said that when the Prophet became too sick he asked her wives for permission to be nursed at Aisha’s. They agreed of course.
In another narration, Lady A’isha said that Prophet Muhammad asked in his last days: “Where should I be tomorrow?” hoping it to be the turn of A’isha. His wives permitted him to stay wherever he wanted. He stayed with Lady A’isha until he died. He died in Aisha’s arms.
Although that the Prophet (PBUH) treated his wives with perfect equity in what he could control, he apologized to Allah the Almighty that he could not be equitable in what he could not control. Lady A’isha may Allah be pleased with her reported that the Prophet of Allah (PBUH) used to treat his wives equally and say: “O Allah, this is how I divide what I can control. O Allah do not blame me for what You control and I can not control.” Abu Dawoud said: “Prophet Muhammad meant what is in his heart.” Allah controls our feelings and hearts and made the love of Lady A’isha greater in the heart of the Prophet than the love of any other woman. That he could not control indeed.
Because feelings are out of our hands and in the hands of Allah; men married to more than one wife are not obliged to equally love each wife but to be equal in spending time with them and expenses. However, the Prophet implores Allah to forgive him for loving Lady A’isha more. Allah says: “And the ones who bring whatever they bring with hearts tremulous that they are returning to their Lord” (Al-Mu’menun:60).
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) stressed on the importance of dealing justly with wives because otherwise on the Day of Judgment the man will be severely punished.
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) is the faithful believers’ example. Allah says: “Indeed you have already had a fair example, in the Messenger of Allah, for whoever hopes for Allah and the Last Day and remembers Allah much.” (Al-Ahzab: 21)
The sayings and actions of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) are legislations guiding his ‘Umma’ nation to the righteous path. We should follow in the footsteps of the Prophet except for the actions intended by Allah the Almighty to be for the Prophet alone.
We all read about the life of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) in the fields of education, faith, politics, war, or economy but seldom was written or published about his life (PBUH) inside his house and his relationship with his wives. A person well informed about the familial relationships of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) finds out that it included meanings that we desperately miss in our present time. These meanings would contribute to the stability of our homes and marriages. In this article we are giving some examples of Prophet Muhammad’s (PBUH) consideration to the feelings of his wives, his appreciation, and manifestation of love.
Calling one’s wife with the name she loves the most or with a nickname or a musical name is one of the forms of pampering and being kind to one’s wife. This can be seen in the life of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) who, in a saying ‘Hadith’ that is agreed upon by scholars, used to say to his wife Ai’sha: “Ai’sh, O Ai’sh, this is Gabriel saying peace be upon you.”
He also used to call Ai’sha: “Homayraa’”-a short form of “Hamraa’” which, according to Ibn Kathir in The End ‘Al Nehaya’ , means the white skinned woman. Althahabi also said that “Hamraa’” in the language of the people of ‘Hegaz’ means white and blushing-a rare feature among them. So Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) used to treat Ai’sha kindly and call her with lovely names.
Imam Muslim said that Ai’sha reported that Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) used to kiss one of his wives while fasting which made her laugh may Allah be pleased with her.
In another saying ‘Hadith’, Ai’sha said that Muhammad (PBUH) said that the best of the believers is the one who is best in manners and kindest to one’s wife.
These sayings ‘Hadiths’ demonstrate how Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) cared for his wives and how well he treated Ai’sha may Allah be pleased with her. One of the forms of cuddling and well treating one’s wife is feeding her with one’s own hands. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: “Whatever you spend is considered charity even the mouthful that you put in your wife’s mouth.” Even the food that one feeds one’s wife with one’s hands is considered an act of charity that is rewarded by Allah (SBWT) and not only an action that guarantees one her love and cooperation.
Cuddling and being kind to one’s wife has a tremendous emotional effect on her. This action of following the example of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) costs a man nothing and grants him Allah’s reward, his wife’s love and cooperation. Therefore a man is commanded to cuddle and treat his wife kindly.
A man’s nature dictates him a certain way of expressing his feelings and it is different from a woman’s. A woman expresses her love with words like, I love you, I miss you, I need you, etc. On the other hand, a man expresses love in action and production and seldom with words. If a man wants to tell his wife that he loves her he buys her something she wants or brings some food and drinks or furniture to the house. According to a man, this is a form of expression.
Lady A’isha said that the Prophet of Allah (PBUH) never preferred one wife more than the others and used to see them all in their homes everyday although he used to spend the night with one only.
Treating his wives with equity never changed according to the change in his conditions. Whether he was traveling or present he was equitable. When he wanted to travel he used to pick without personal preference (through some way like drawing straws) which wife to accompany him.
He used to spend one day and one night with each wife except when Lady Sauda Bint Zam’a reached old age and no longer had sexual desires she dedicated her day and night to Lady A’isha may Allah be pleased with them. By doing so, Lady Sauda was also seeking to please the Prophet (PBUH).
Another form of dealing justly was when the Prophet married a virgin he would stay with her for three nights not to let her feel lonely and then he would spend with her the same as his other wives. When he (PBUH) married Umm Salama he said to her: “There is no lack of estimation for you on the part of your husband. So if you desire I can spend a week with you, and if you like I may spend three (nights) and then I will visit you in turn.” She said: “Spend three (nights).” Narrated by Muslim.
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) treated his wife equally even in his last days when he was very sick. He used to go to each of his wives in her turn. Lady A’isha said that when the Prophet became too sick he asked her wives for permission to be nursed at Aisha’s. They agreed of course.
In another narration, Lady A’isha said that Prophet Muhammad asked in his last days: “Where should I be tomorrow?” hoping it to be the turn of A’isha. His wives permitted him to stay wherever he wanted. He stayed with Lady A’isha until he died. He died in Aisha’s arms.
Although that the Prophet (PBUH) treated his wives with perfect equity in what he could control, he apologized to Allah the Almighty that he could not be equitable in what he could not control. Lady A’isha may Allah be pleased with her reported that the Prophet of Allah (PBUH) used to treat his wives equally and say: “O Allah, this is how I divide what I can control. O Allah do not blame me for what You control and I can not control.” Abu Dawoud said: “Prophet Muhammad meant what is in his heart.” Allah controls our feelings and hearts and made the love of Lady A’isha greater in the heart of the Prophet than the love of any other woman. That he could not control indeed.
Because feelings are out of our hands and in the hands of Allah; men married to more than one wife are not obliged to equally love each wife but to be equal in spending time with them and expenses. However, the Prophet implores Allah to forgive him for loving Lady A’isha more. Allah says: “And the ones who bring whatever they bring with hearts tremulous that they are returning to their Lord” (Al-Mu’menun:60).
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) stressed on the importance of dealing justly with wives because otherwise on the Day of Judgment the man will be severely punished.
Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) is the faithful believers’ example. Allah says: “Indeed you have already had a fair example, in the Messenger of Allah, for whoever hopes for Allah and the Last Day and remembers Allah much.” (Al-Ahzab: 21)
The sayings and actions of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) are legislations guiding his ‘Umma’ nation to the righteous path. We should follow in the footsteps of the Prophet except for the actions intended by Allah the Almighty to be for the Prophet alone.
We all read about the life of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) in the fields of education, faith, politics, war, or economy but seldom was written or published about his life (PBUH) inside his house and his relationship with his wives. A person well informed about the familial relationships of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) finds out that it included meanings that we desperately miss in our present time. These meanings would contribute to the stability of our homes and marriages. In this article we are giving some examples of Prophet Muhammad’s (PBUH) consideration to the feelings of his wives, his appreciation, and manifestation of love.
Calling one’s wife with the name she loves the most or with a nickname or a musical name is one of the forms of pampering and being kind to one’s wife. This can be seen in the life of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) who, in a saying ‘Hadith’ that is agreed upon by scholars, used to say to his wife Ai’sha: “Ai’sh, O Ai’sh, this is Gabriel saying peace be upon you.”
He also used to call Ai’sha: “Homayraa’”-a short form of “Hamraa’” which, according to Ibn Kathir in The End ‘Al Nehaya’ , means the white skinned woman. Althahabi also said that “Hamraa’” in the language of the people of ‘Hegaz’ means white and blushing-a rare feature among them. So Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) used to treat Ai’sha kindly and call her with lovely names.
Imam Muslim said that Ai’sha reported that Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) used to kiss one of his wives while fasting which made her laugh may Allah be pleased with her.
In another saying ‘Hadith’, Ai’sha said that Muhammad (PBUH) said that the best of the believers is the one who is best in manners and kindest to one’s wife.
These sayings ‘Hadiths’ demonstrate how Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) cared for his wives and how well he treated Ai’sha may Allah be pleased with her. One of the forms of cuddling and well treating one’s wife is feeding her with one’s own hands. Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) said: “Whatever you spend is considered charity even the mouthful that you put in your wife’s mouth.” Even the food that one feeds one’s wife with one’s hands is considered an act of charity that is rewarded by Allah (SBWT) and not only an action that guarantees one her love and cooperation.
Cuddling and being kind to one’s wife has a tremendous emotional effect on her. This action of following the example of Prophet Muhammad (PBUH) costs a man nothing and grants him Allah’s reward, his wife’s love and cooperation. Therefore a man is commanded to cuddle and treat his wife kindly.
A man’s nature dictates him a certain way of expressing his feelings and it is different from a woman’s. A woman expresses her love with words like, I love you, I miss you, I need you, etc. On the other hand, a man expresses love in action and production and seldom with words. If a man wants to tell his wife that he loves her he buys her something she wants or brings some food and drinks or furniture to the house. According to a man, this is a form of expression.